David,
My issue with what you were trying to do was entirely based on your tactics, not your goals. I agree completely that self-defense against the State is a losing strategy for activism. But your way of trying to exclude people who oppose you came off as alienating, and not something I really wanted to be associated with. I prefer to try to include as many people as possible in our movement. If they’re “90% there,” I’d rather work on them to eliminate that 10%, not push them away over it. In fact, unless someone has a very legitimate reason such as ostracism over an act of aggression, I believe that people who are trying to cause division are the ones who should be divided off, not those whom they’re trying to cast out. But since I consider you a friend, I was just trying to stay out of it for the most part and wait for the situation to cool down.
Further, using the term self-defender to mean a subset of what it really means was, in earnest, a bit offensive to me. You’re right that human beings think collectively: I know that if the term self-defender becomes popularized as a pejorative for proponents of anti-statist violence among people in our movement, some people will start thinking that anyone who believes in the wider meaning of self-defense is actually a believer in what you meant by the term. I’ve been engaged in enough semantic battles to not particularly relish seeing another one created.
I guess to a degree I was trying to alienate people, but a specific group of people that were completely opposed to the means that I thought were necessary.
Remember, people will group us together weather we like it or not. I do not want to be grouped together with people who are/will do things that I don't agree with in the first place.
It is kinda like hanging out with racists when you are not racist. Inevitably one of the racists will say, and maybe do something racist. Once it is done, most people will ignore your claims that you are not 'one of them'.
Is it not yet obvious that the gun cleaners are recruiting? It is just a matter of time.